1 month later...

In about 1/2 an hour, Sam will be a 1 month old baby, and all I have to say is "whew". Actually, I can expound on that a little. I am exhausted. I just got him to sleep, after several hours of trying (with lots of crying, on his part and mine). He is lying in a moses basket on my right, and on my left I have another basket -- the laundry hamper. It's overflowing, and only from today's dirty linens -- Sam's only, nobody elses. Yes, I finished another load of baby laundry this morning. It's weird how I'd heard that on the worst days you'd probably only change a baby's outfit 4 times -- ha! That's probably the # of times I've changed him on our best days. Ok, gtg, the little spitter upper just woke up...

(20 minutes later)... he's back asleep, thank God. It's true what they say about the sight of a sleeping baby -- there's nothing sweeter. It's all worth the work for this precious moment.

Also, I got some pretty good smiling out of him today, and that pretty much melted my heart.

He's definitely grown and changed over the past weeks in other ways too. For instance, he can keep his fingers in his mouth for a good amount of time now, instead of just a few seconds like when he was born.

However, I think I have changed and grown just as much. As an example, I'm now ambidextrous. I've also adopted such grown-up qualities as wearing unfashionable clothes (which work better for nursing and are not pitied when spit up or peed on), and cleaning for short amounts of time frequently instead of procrastinating until company comes. I've learned a ton: wiping the rectal area of a newborn has the potential to stimulate bowel movement (surprise!), I would make a terrible single parent (this I've learned tonight while the husband's away), and although he looks like the spitting image of his Daddy, Sam has an affinity for the outdoors just like his mom.

Importantly, though, I've learned that despite all the doubts I've had, I can mother (with others' help), and I am incredibly blessed.